What Counselors and Teachers Need to Know to Help Deeply Troubled Students
Posted: Sunday, February 05, 2006
by Ruth Herman Wells
Youth Change
At the start of each Breakthrough Strategies to Teach and Counsel Troubled Youth Workshop that we conduct, we allow the class participants to name the problem areas they wish to cover during the course. Annually, we train thousands of youth professionals, yet we find that youth professionals seldom request that we address what may be the #1 problem facing children. If it's not the most frequent problem, then it is at least in the top 2 or 3 of the most frequently occurring, serious problems a child can face. Can you name it?
If you know the answer, it may be because, this normally rather covert issue has suddenly dominated the media. The answer is sexual abuse.
Please keep reading! Yes, this might not have been the problem area you wanted to know about, but it is absolutely critical that you continue to read the words on this page-- for the sake of your children. After nearly a decade and a half of training youth professionals, we are painfully aware of the understandable, but huge reluctance so many of us have to think about this issue. We do normally save the most serious problem areas, like sexual abuse, for our workshops and books rather than the internet, but the saturation coverage of the child sexual abuse scandal in the Catholic Church warrants an exception to this policy. Please hear this: Sexual abuse is not a problem exclusive to the Catholic Church. It is a problem exclusive to humanity. That means whether you see it or not,
1 in 3 of the girls in your classroom today, 1 of 5 of the boys in your office right now, lives with sexual abuse. And they need you to understand what they are going through, and they need your help to cope with it and survive.
Do You Know the Truth About Sexual Abuse?
If you are like many of the professionals who attend our workshops, in college, you were offered scant training on sexual abuse. Consequently, you may feel that this area is not be your strong suit. Especially with the topic dominating the news, it is possible that some youngsters may be particularly tempted to seek help or solace from their teacher, counselor or youth worker. Are you ready? Here is some of the key information every youth professional needs to know. Do you know it?
What portion of sexually abused children are actually incest victims?
The answer may shock you. Most (50-70%) sexually abused children actually live with incest.
What does the word "incest" mean?
Modern definitions of incest are not limited to perpetrators who are related by blood. The contemporary use of that term refers to any perpetrator who is in a position of special power, trust and influence. That can still include a bio Dad or bio Grandfather, but also could include the babysitter, coach, teacher or priest. It is believed that the primal violation of trust by someone who was given a special trust to protect the child, is a key element that makes incest so profoundly devastating to the young victim. That devastation is not limited to times when there happens to be a genetic connection.
Who is the perpetrator of incest?
The most precise answer is the male caregiver. This can include Dad, Step-Dad, Mom's boyfriend, for example.
Who is the most likely perpetrator of incest?
Certainly grandfathers, uncles, brothers, coaches and priests can commit incest, but although the media coverage of the Catholic Church scandal might suggest that priests are frequent perpetrators, they are not the most likely offender. The most likely offender is someone who may be the male caregiver, specifically, the unrelated male in the home.
So, if the child lives with incest, who is the most likely perpetrator of all? Mom's boyfriend, the unrelated male in the home.
What does the incested child look like in my classroom or office?
If you imagine the girl with the ratty hair, messed-up clothes and poor hygiene, that's fine except that the incested kid can be any kid, and look like any kid. So in addition to the girl with the poor grooming and hygiene, the incested kid could be the girl or boy who is the class president, honor- roll student, from a wealthy home. Or, the kid can be anyone on the continuum.
We don't have incest and sexual abuse problems in my town.
You can think that the problems are all in Appalachia, or all in poor homes, but it simply isn't true. If you work with children, you work with incested and sexually abused kids. There are no exceptions: some of your case load or roster face unimaginable distress. When you deny it exists, they face the incest utterly and indefinitely alone.
How do you know this information about incest and sexual abuse?
Studies abound on these topics. The National Center for the Study of Child Abuse, based in Huntsville, Alabama, will send you a list of studies, and the contents. Some authors for follow-up information:
David Finklehor, Jennifer Freyd, Judith Herman and E. Sue Blume.
I really disagree with something you wrote on this page!
You don't have to agree with anything on this page. It is terribly sad and distressing information that you are welcome to disagree with. This is a covert problem. No one knows the whole truth about incest and sexual abuse. But, hopefully some of this information will better prepare you to provide aid and solace to children that live the reality and intimately know the scope and truth of this problem.
You haven't told us what to do to help incested and sexually abused kids.
That's right. That's why we hope you will visit our web site where we have posted additional information as we can only fit so much text into each article. If you will visit our site, we can provide more answers and direction via our web pages, books, ebooks and Live Expert Help for Youth Professionals. Some of our resources for helping children cope with incest and sexual abuse, are at our web site at http://www.youthchg.com/lessons.html. Look at "A Child's Guide to Surviving in a Troubled Family" and "What Every Girl Needs to Know About the Real World."
This Article has been viewed 506 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
No comments yet.We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.